Perfectly Peaceful/Transcript
Sir Hammerlock: Those crystalisks are right bastards, aren't they? Scientific term. If you could find out just what got up the crystalisk's collective bum and made them so cross I'd be willing to pay you a pretty penny. Metaphorically. I'll be paying you a great deal more than a penny, it's just a saying I'm fond of. Off to the Caustic Caverns with you! (Mission objectives update: Pick up origin evidence, Bonus objectives: Kill spiderants 0/10, Kill threshers 0/5, Kill crystalisk 0/5) (Vault Hunter travels to Caustic Caverns where in Corrosive Ooze he finds the first ECHO recorder.) Officer Elyse Booth: Missus Harchek! Today a miner found a crystal formation near the alien ruins, but it started... moving. The... creature appears perfectly peaceful; I don't think it's ever seen a person before. Blue, not now! Here -- go play with my hat. Get -- there you go, Blue! We're calling it Blue cause of the color its, uh -- yeah. We saw a couple more of these creatures hiding near the ruins -- I recommend moving the dig site, for obvious reasons. Security Officer Booth, signing off. Harchek: Miz Booth. While your concern for these... creatures is noted, we shall not be moving the dig site. The Dahl corporation has sent Sanctuary, their greatest mining ship, to this godforsaken planet to mine crystals -- and you have found some. Please round up the creatures so that my mining team may... extract their minerals. (Fighting various local wildlife, Vault Hunter enters the Infested Warehouse where he finds the second ECHO recorder.) Officer Elyse Booth: Missus Harchek, I don't think you understand -- you can't... mine these creatures. They're living beings! Without the crystals, they'll die. Sanctuary could easily find another dig site -- my security team and I are not hunting these creatures for you. Period. Security Officer Booth signing off. Harchek: Miz Booth, need I remind you of the terms of your contract? Your security team is meant to assist my excavation crew. Whether or not you agree with my policies is irrelevant. Shut your mouth, grab your gun, and bring me my crystals like a good little girl. (Vault Hunter proceeds to the Guardian Ruins where he finds the third ECHO recorder.) Officer Elyse Booth: Listen, you heartless bitch. My team has guns, your team has pickaxes. Move the ship or we will move it for you. Security Officer Booth, signing o-- (A single gunshot is heard ...) Officer Elyse Booth: (death gurgle) Harchek: You don't have all the guns, dear. Now -- unless anyone from the late Miz Booth's security team has anything else to say -- BRING ME MY GODDAMNED CRYSTALS! (Vault Hunter enters the Dahl Deep Core 6 where he finds the fourth ECHO recorder.) Harchek: What do you MEAN they're fighting back?! Booth said they were as docile as bloody kittens! Give me that gun, you coward! Aim for the blue one! AIM FOR THE BLUE ONE! (Frantic gunfire coming from the background ...) Harchek: (death scream) Sir Hammerlock: Well, that was rather dark. Please return to me at your earliest convenience. (Vault Hunter travels back to Sanctuary where he turns in the mission to Sir Hammerlock.) Sir Hammerlock: Did I ever do my whole man is the real monster speech for you? Comes to mind. Category:Transcripts